She said she would change he said. I looked at him sitting on my couch his head in his hands. We had been here so many times before him and I; my dearest friend for so long. I sat down across from him my couch sagging under my weight. I sighed do you want to know what I have learnt I asked because we can’t keep doing this I said to him.
He lifted his head from his hands his eyes red and swollen from crying and said yes.
People don’t change I said but they can and usually do grow into better people some call it growing up. That is the only time people change is when they grow up. When they stop being children, stop being selfish and start being an adult. Start wanting to be a better person but that growing that is a choice. That is the change.
We all get to a certain age and understand what consequences are. Some of us grow up quicker than others then there are some that don’t at all because they don’t want to grow up to be better people. They don’t want to learn lessons, understand right and wrong. Understand hurt and understand love and they don’t want to take responsiblity. They enjoy being selfish literal children by choice.
You can’t make someone change like you can’t make someone grow up. You can try to teach them but like children they need consequence otherwise it’s a wasted painful effort for which you have tried to teach time and time again. Until they change grow up they will never consider you or the impact of their actions. Until they want to start to grow up or do you will not matter as you should and so they will continue to hurt and disappoint you.
So I said to him you have a choice you either accept the way she is go back and live with it or you change what you can because you are the only one that can do that. You can make a change.
She won’t change or grow up he said I have tried to talk to her show her how I feel make her understand.
Well I said there is your answer. You have done all the teaching you can now you need to work out what is the best consequence the only type of change that is possible for your children.
He never left her he didn’t have to life taught her the ultimate lesson ; death.
What do you think..do people change?
{image with thanks to here}
