I was sitting in the vet surgery waiting for Big Boy the wonder dog to see his doctor when she walked into the waiting room. I was sitting down on the bench Big Boys head on my lap when she turned on her heel and looked at me. I knew her but couldn’t think of her name. I knew where I knew her from. We had worked to together at the hydroponic farm near on nine years ago. I was five months pregnant and was working there to pay off my credit card that had accrued after a last hurrah trip to Europe before B1 was born. She had just started as I was finishing. Farm work is not easy work when your five months pregnant and in my short time of being there I had accrued a build up of chemicals in my blood that was significant enough for my doctor to say enough. And so she was my replacement.
So we knew each other- sort of.
I smiled and said ‘hello’.
She responded with ‘I know you?’. Stating a fact rather than asking a question.
‘Yes’ I said the hydro-farm.
‘That’s right’ she said her head nodding.
She would have been about fifty now and still as gorgeous as she was then. I still I couldn’t remember her name but offered mine. She hadn’t changed.
‘You were pregnant’ she said.
‘Yes’ I said ‘he will be nine this year.’
‘Nine’ she said probably thinking the same thing I was that time flies. I smiled and continued with ‘I went on to have another two’ I said ‘all boys. I love it.’
It was quiet for a second as we both searched for something to say.
‘What are you up to now’ I said.
‘I run a mobile dog grooming business’ she said.
‘Your own or a franchise’ I asked just to continue the conversation.
‘My own started from scratch my husband just finished making me a new trailer’ she pointed outside smiling. ‘Yeah after my kids left home’ she said ‘I was lost, it was depressing. I was depressed. I had no purpose. I expected them to leave home but to leave town leave the state I didn’t expect that. I had no life of my own. Dont get me wrong they call, love me and visit, in fact my daughters coming next week but it’s not the same you know’ she said folding her arms across her blue polo shirt. ‘I am so proud of them’ she finished with.
I smiled listening to her talk surprised at her openness towards me. Someone she hadn’t seen in nine years and even then our friendship was no more than a smile and nod and yet I felt like I knew her and so I listened.
‘My husband coped just fine when they left. He had a life of his own. But then men generally do’ she said.
I laughed a little ‘yes they do’ I said. I patted Big Boys head as he nudged my hand wanting some more loving as he sat patiently at my feet.
‘Yes I said men generally have that ‘other’ life and interests outside the family it just seems to be how it works. And they seem to manage the emotions of parenthood differently. I searched for the right words its ‘Like they are more realistic in knowing that their job as a hands on parent is short and so they prepare both physically and emotionally better than us mum’s.’
‘Yes’ she said looking at me ‘and I don’t regret a minute of my time as a mother. It was the best job I have ever had but I wish I had developed just a little life of my own outside of my girls. Then perhaps it would have made the inevitable transition easier. It was a terribly tough and horrible time for me’ she said. She took a deep breath in and said ‘My husband he was amazing. He encouraged me to start my dog washing business and well it has grown to this size and well here we are’ she said still smiling, the pride evident in the way she held herself tall. And I looking at her amazing figure dressed in lcyra pants with her beautiful tanned face.
“It was a scary time’ she said ‘but that’s okay”.
“I bet it was “I said not really knowing what to say because I was still taken back with her honesty but so pleased all the same. I looked at her again. Her eyes were smiling and you could see yes she was happy.
Our conversation was interrupted by the vet calling for Big Boy and as we pulled him into the consultation room because no human or animal wants to voluntarily get a needle in the head I turned to say good-bye but she was already out the door and in her car. Reversing the trailer like a trucker all the while smiling.
And she is right we all need little lives of our own.
xx Deb
{image with thanks to here}
