Today started out well. I made a great coffee two infact…had a wee face book discussion… the kids got off to school without a hitch…I caught the rooster in readiness to take him to the vet to find out why he isn’t behaving like a rooster but more like a drunkard trying to find his stool at the pub and then husband called and we had a fight.
We don’t normally fight and our conversations don’t normally end with I’m going now said in a tone of voice that the queen of Narnia would be proud of. I don’t regret the fight. We fought clean. It was productive. He said his piece I said mine and it’s done with. And yet here I am now writing this thinking of him while eating a large Cadbury chocolate with my sneakers on because once finished here I also intend to run the crap out of that fight.
Now I have learnt to not to over think things…people fight it happens and I may or not have deserved the dressing down I got on the phone and he may or may not have deserved the response I gave. There is no goody or baddy here. But it’s done now…only problem is its 12 hours or more between now and the next phone call… one of the perks of the offshore industry and working on overseas vessels that issue phone cards that are more valuable than gold.
So what to do?
Nothing but get on with my day.
Now in the past I would have and I am talking when I was a novice to all this relationship stuff I would have emailed or if I could texted him…but from one thing I know nothing can be conveyed via text message nothing. If anything it makes you more angry and frustrated. Write an email perhaps but then sit on it- always sit on an email- then if 6 hours later it resonates with you still send it but do not ever text try to solve an argument with a text and then one that uses abbreviations- wtf why would you do that. It’s the one time I will use the word stupid because that’s what it is. You have 160 characters and then there is auto correct it’s a minefield of stupidity.
Don’t use it unless of course you are not looking to fix the argument and then by all means go for the Russel Brand approach and end up looking like a gutless wonder. It’s your call.
A text doesn’t convey a message they are short blunt and sweet or in Katie Perry’s case not sweet. Texting was invented to save time…emoticons…to bring some feeling into said text but there is nothing emotional about trying to work out an argument via a piece of cold hardware and no amount of happy or sad faces with a breaking heart thrown in will fix it- unless of course your thirteen and anything that involves a love heart will work. So do not use them. They leave things left unsaid, abbreviations are misread, or pieces missing.
Texting is valuable for short brief messages such as appointment reminders or reminders in general. Use them for sending a shopping list a phone number, a link that sort of thing and sexting. Let’s not forget about sexting. Sexting however is one form of ‘texting’ that can be beneficial to ones relationship but here is the disclosure it must be between to consenting adults and even then should be used with care- sending a picture of you in your new favourite negligee may not go down well with his mother brother or worst still your daughter. Personally Iam scared whittles of sexting..And will only go far as husband I miss you- lame I know.
Fix the argument misunderstanding in person or when phone reception is good. As scary as it is do it in person. You will be better for it and it will be solved faster for better or worse. And who knows when said and done in person the reconciliation may be consummated wink wink nudge nudge and well if that doesn’t get you sorting it out face to face I don’t know what will…but then stupid may be thy middle name in two regards.
So I won’t be texting or even emailing…I will eat the remainder of this chocolate bar before commencing sometime on my runner all the while I wait for him to call back where we will discuss it like two adults who until they get face to face will understand they are both doing the best that they can.
Easy done? Of course not but then nothing worthwhile ever is.
