This morning I am tired again; but then introduce me to a mother that isn’t, I am because my four year old likes to sleep like an epileptic star fish. I never imagined that despite the fact he does not stop moving for twelve hours during the day he would continue moving during the night when his body is supposedly meant to be resting and healing.
No one told me that- that they never stop moving.
They also never told me that despite being tired because my kids are kicking the cheese and whiskers out of me during the night that I don’t or won’t move out of the bed they into another bed where I will sleep; soundly all night or at least until one of them comes looking for me. No one told me I would do unthinkable things just because I am now a mum and even though I am having the cheese and whiskers kicked out of me I just want to be next to them. That behaviour doesn’t make sense but then there is often not much about being a mum that does. I do wish however someone would have tried harder to tell me something’s. It would have made the ride less bumpy perhaps? No; I doubt it also.
1. I wish someone had tried to tell me just a little bit harder: that I would never sleep deeply again. For the past eight years (I’m including pregnancy- a whole other ‘some things’) I lay between that awake and asleep state listening to every cough, murmur and footstep. I thought once baby slept through that was it; sleeping long hours away would return. No it doesn’t. It just moves to a different stage; baby, toddler, tween, teenager, young adult and married. No one told me that I would dream of good sleep and now will often pay for a good night sleep. It’s called a hotel and I will fake appointments interstate to get one.
2. I wish someone had told me that I would become a climbing gym- I would have worked out more. We have a the best fandangle climbing gym for my children in the backyard but my 5ft1 frame is apparently better because it makes noises when you put a foot into that foot hold called my ribs.
3. I wish some one had told be that I would become a hypocrite. That little white lies would be perfectly okay and is what my whole relationship with my children is based on. They are what get me through the day. You don’t need an example of when I use them its bad enough I’m admitting I’m not perfect because after 565 posts you thought that right?
4. I wish someone had told me that handling vomit, pee and poo would be something I did on a daily basis and that smelling and wiping someone’s else bottom other than my own is as normal as putting on a pair of knickers.
5. I wish someone had told me that shopping would no longer bring me a joy it’s merely a hunt and gather to cloth and feed my clan.
6. I wish someone had told me that despite being surround by people being a mother is sometimes so damn lonely.
7. I wish someone had told me that hide and seek would have to become part of my game plan to get five minutes on my own because a lock on the toilet door means nothing to them.
8. I wish someone had told me how many times I will sit in my car and cry. Cry the ugly cry because I would on occasion doubt my ability to be a ‘good parent’ but to have faith that I am doing the best I can. I often wonder where did that young and arrogant person go? The one who thought they could do everything. No one told me that person would disappear. Perhaps she was vomited out during my first nine months of morning sickness again a whole another ‘something’s’.
9. I wish someone had told me how resourceful I would become especially at 3am when husband is at work and I need to take B1 to the ER with another two children in tow. I wish some one had told me that there is no need to worry; I will manage and its all going to be okay in the end.
10. I wish someone had told me how much love I would have for them, it at times is all consuming. I wish someone had told me how much joy they would bring me. I am still often in disbelief that these gifts are mine and I’m so proud of them however sometimes I pretend that they aren’t mine especially when it involves a tantrum in the aisle of Big W.
What are your something’s you wish someone had tried to tell you harder about being a mum?
Xx Deb
