a fifo wife {fifo life: how to: keep your laundry under control to avoid that sinking feeling}

I’m watching Martha Stewart as you do and she is offering laundry tips 101. Martha washes not only according to colour and whites but too the wash required i.e. hot, cold or delicate and then by material so towels, fleece and blankets. Clearly this woman doesn’t have small children at home and clearly she does this stuff for a living because who else has the time to do that? Apologies to anyone who may in fact have the time to do that and has small children; which if that’s the case clearly you have stumbled on to the wrong blog. My advice would be to click the back button and go back to what you were looking for as I don’t have an environmentally safe method for removing pen from a pair of white cargo pants. I just don’t.

So as I sit here I am actually thinking is this what I am resorting to? Writing about the bloody laundry? No offence to those who love being a domestic goddess and as you can tell from the sarcasm clearly I am not but however I do aspire to be one; one day when I am all grown up and the kids have left home. So as I am not yet a domestic goddess I have been there where my laundry was out of control. Where it was depressing and it was ahem one of the things that what would set the crazy switch on; amongst many including sleep deprivation, running out of milk and my children calling my name. My husband calls these things so bravely under his breath switches crazy I like to call them quirks but for me if the washing is out of control then everything else feels out of control. At my most tiredness which when husband is away there is usually not enough cupboards to stash the dirty and baskets to hold the clean. These are the days and weeks that it would feel like we would be consumed by the dirty laundry and like the sink holes of inner city Perth it would be me the house and all.

So today’s How to: is the exciting topic of keeping your laundry under control to avoid that sinking feeling. I thought I would share my not so secret secrets but tips of perhaps verging on laziness that has finally seen me get on top of it all. Mostly, usually, sometimes… well I now have enough baskets and cupboards to appear that way.

1. When you buy your clothes take note of the fabric. For my boys shorts I will only buy quick dry non wrinkle material i.e. board shorts and for school it’s a poly mix. For myself I don’t buy whites. Ever. It’s not worth the pain as cool as it makes you look but it’s too hard to take care of. If I can get wrinkle free I will pay the extra money for it. It saves on ironing and dry cleaning.

2. Avoid colours that bleed; yep a confession of a truly lazy house wife. If you don’t have darks that bleed onto lights, then you can throw everything into the same load. Reds, oranges, blacks, purples, and navy blues are often bleeders, so avoid them for convenience. You want to do the least amount of laundry loads as possible how else will you fit everything else you must do into your day. That includes watching Ellen.

3. Socks. I only buy grey or navy blue socks that way if one goes missing it still has a pair. Again seriously lazy but seriously it works.

4. Make your laundry room pretty. That way you won’t mind working in there. It’s the same as any other space. If it is clean, organised and utilitarian pretty you are going to want to work in there and keep it clean, organised and pretty.

5. Dirty clothing goes in to the basket; not on the bathroom, bedroom floor or to be thrown on to the fan. It goes into the basket or it goes in to the bin and if stick to that threat eventually you, your kids and your husband may use the basket or be naked. The lesson may be learnt or that dream you keep having of being naked is a premonition take your pick. So train your kids early. Your husband? Blame his mother; I have not the solution for you for on that one but as for your kid’s think of the generation after you. Think of the person taking care of your child once you manage to find someone so blinded by love that their laziness is just a cute quirk of theirs.

6. Reduce the size of your laundry basket and wash more often i.e. every day and adjust the cycle according to the size of the load of the washing. It may mean pressing more buttons which yes in turns means one more thing to do but there is no need to be wasteful i.e. spend more money on water heating etc..

7.  Have a routine. Put a wash on before bed so it’s ready to hang in the morning after you have had breakfast or put a load on as soon as you get up to hang after your have gone for a run(?) yes I said run. You know you want to.

8. Now here is a complete contradiction to point 6. I run my dryer for the boys shorts and ‘smalls’ they dry in next to no time (less than 10minutes) and it means I’m saving time hanging out 65 pairs of jocks and socks which would take me (25 minutes and no that’s no an exaggeration any one with three boys will tell you that).

9. Fold non iron items straight from the line. Hang wrinkle free items straight on to hangers. Which when dry hang in the cupboards straight away. When the shorts and smalls are dry from the dryer fold and put them away straight away or tell your children to do it. Surly you have done enough for them up to this point. Towels, sheets are the same.

10. Be realistic about what needs to be ironed. My aunt irons her underwear. Why is all I ask? She also irons her sheets again why? T-shirts yes, singlets no and all work attire without question. Unless of course you are attempting to tick your boss off and loose all creditability that since your attempt at personal grooming has a care factor of zero then your care factor about your employment is the same. It’s your choice.

So there is my laundry 101. I’m hoping you are impressed by my tips and tricks as much as you are with Mrs Mac’s perfect bed making skills (truly beautiful. Head over there now for a true domestic goddess with a sense of humour~ yes my current blog crush *sigh*). Now it should be noted that these tips are purely designed until my children can do their own laundry (and mine) from start to finish. And these tips are for the interim training period only; in which when they do come of age I shall not care for non wrinkle products and shall someday wear white. Gasp I hear you say they are but children of 3, 5, 7 however they also may be the young men that marry your sons or daughters and one day you will thank me for it.

All complaints, recommendations and judgements regarding any statement can be sent to the following possibly real or fictional web address www.thankyouforyourjudgement.com.au they will be replied according to your claim but I bet your bottom dollar you will be doing point 3, 4, and 8 from now on but if you want the real Martha Stewart advice head here.

Tell me do you have any tricks up your sleeve for staying on top?

xxDeb