I wrote a post today. I spent a good couple of hours on it lots goes into a post each day. I call my mother and read it to her. What? she said. Is that how you viewed your childhood? Ah no mum you haven’t heard me right, didn’t you hear the part where I say I had a childhood most would envy? No of course not she wears two hearing aids and is deaf at the best of times let alone when she is listening to a post about what her marriage taught me. She cries. Read it to me later she said. I know she is unwell but still I’m disheartened. No mum I said I just wont post it; its okay; I never wrote it to be hurtful in fact husband who read it thought it was great. Never mind the two hours gone into it, the post is in the draft’s folder for later; maybe and so here I am wanting to write something other than ‘a few things’ because I wanted my first post of 2013 to be a little wow but it seems that really the way the week, the year is meant to start is with ‘a few things’.
Lesson learnt and the universe has told me this is how its meant to be.
So here is the few things that have been running since my head since we last spoke last Monday before I was surprised the crap out of with a trip to see my parents from my gorgeous yummy husband and boys.
Forgive me if its a little air travel orientated but given I have just jetted my way back from the back of beyond aka Darwin via air link not so glamorous but lets pretend shall we? The topic of air travel its all a little fresh in my mind and I love to fly. Love it. Its the one place when I don’t have the kids I have the excuse to just sit, listen to some music and read because there is nothing else I can do. Nothing.
Flying has changed so much since I started to fly (god I sound like my mother) but I started transiting the Tasman when I was just weeks old and never stopped and hopefully never will. Travel and the love of is the only thing my boys must have. Travel is the only true way to learn about this world of ours. Anyway flying still in the 80’s was still glamorous, people still got dressed up, full meals where served, being a hostie was more than a glorified waitress, it was job little girls aspired to be; be it with the chances of contracting lung cancer from the deathly smoked filled cabins but still the glamour of it. I loved it.
So here’s is the first ‘few things’ this Monday. The first post of 2013.
1. Why don’t people dress nicely for air travel anymore? At all? Where has the glamour gone? At what point did an aircraft become a yoga studio? How hard is it to brush your hair, your teeth and wear some deodorant when flying? Has common courtesy of smelling pleasant for your fellow passenger for the duration of a flight really gone out the literal window? Are those terribly small seats not discomfort enough; that someone has to add the sometimes offensive smell of bad body odour to it too?
2. I don’t deem myself a snob. Race, class, or creed mean nothing to me. Nothing. I pride myself on being able to talk to anyone however my Qantas club membership ran out and I seriously contemplated not flying. Having too sit in a public lounge at an airport despite my love of people watching will almost bring me to hyperventilation point its been a cleanliness issue in the past. Its been 12 years since I have had to sit in a airport public lounge fortunately I found a really clean corner of a Gloria Jeans where I sat and waited whilst breathing into a paper bag.
3. Want to get up graded from economy to business when flying? Its really simple dress nice. Smart not like your heading to a gym class or are expressing yourself through fashion with a meat cleaver as a hat, just nice clean pressed clothes. Good shoes and be nice to the check in staff. Arrive early not late and unfortunately your more likely to get an upgrade if your traveling alone so you always just ask them nicely what’s the chances are of an upgrade. Its obviously not guaranteed but its worth a try.
4. If your travelling with kids and they start to cry on take off and landing. Please don’t make them stop. Don’t get embarrassed or frustrated. Crying is the best thing for them it helps equalise their little ears. Feeding them the breast or bottle, giving them a dummy to suck on or a lolly to chew will also help ease the pain. Don’t worry about the other passengers I’m sure they have been there and done that at some stage and if they shoot you ‘the look’ stick your tongue out its the only thing I can think of right now but they will get the message that their ‘look’ is not required its only making your job harder.
5. You can let your kids scream during take off and landing. They can run up and down the aisle. They can laugh, giggle and play peek a boo just don’t kick the back of my chair all the way to Singapore, we will never be friends that way.
6. Don’t wear a short skirt on a flight its impractical and I don’t need to see what you had for breakfast. Its not a good look no matter how thin, pretty and flirty you may be. Jeans, shirt and a good knit will always be sexy especially if you smell good.
7. My husband is 6’5 and despite being a gold member and frequent flyer of a preferred airline he never gets the emergency exit, despite it being on his seat preference profile. He never gets it. Never. He sits with his knees between his ears for five to six hours at time twice a month. He leaves the aircraft like a pretzel. Me I’m 5’1 and I always get the exit row. Always. I’m not being smug well may be I am but it wouldn’t matter anyway I can curl up in one of those chairs like baby in a sling. I like to think its karma taking care of his wife.
8. Watch your diet for two days before you fly..no matter what you think..the smell of curry carries through the air conditioning vents and the smell will follow you, we will know who has made that smell in those very small toilets.
9. The three things I travel with because I have learnt how handy they are 1. a pashmina 2. a pair of socks 3. hand cream.
10. I’m 35 years old and still I’m frightened of air craft toilets. I hold my breath as they flush, lid down hoping they wont suck me down the system. Every single time.
And my final piece of pondering:
Check your boarding pass to ensure your travel agent has booked you to the right city. There is nothing more embarrassing than trying to explain to the hostie after you have been seated, bags stowed that you are not losing your mind but you are sure as not hell going to Timbuktu today. This is despite checking in, heading to the gate, boarding the plane, sitting in your seat and only then to hear the pilots announcement about the flight plan. I’m not saying its happened to me but the look, the shame and evilness that your once fellow passengers are thinking of you is something hard to shake as you walk back down the gangway to the terminal as the aircraft is delayed for twenty minutes as the handlers try to find your luggage. Those people I can guarantee will never be your friends and you can forget about an upgrade.
So happy travels lovelies,
xx Deb
