a fifo wife {fifo life: real life fifo and my career}

Before having children I had a career in hotels. I was a reservations and events manager for a large five star property chain. I loved my job. I loved it so much that I commuted over an hour away down a mountain range with 265 bends into the city every day for it. I loved the responsibility. I loved the team I had and the team I worked with. I loved having a life of my own as well as a life with my husband. I loved the money that I made for me and for my husband. That I was able to contribute to our already ‘FIFO family’ of me and him but when I fell pregnant with my first child morning sickness soon put a stop to that.

Once the morning sickness settled so determined was I to still contribute to our family I went and worked on a hydroponic farm until I was six months pregnant and the doctors told me no more. I was starting to show traces of herbicides in my blood; having to finish work, I was devastated. I felt like I was letting the team down. My husband never let me feel that way. He has always always said that its our money that I work just as hard as him at home but its not the same you know. I thought I could eventually go back to work to my career some how some way and have that life again.

So when I first became a mother I didn’t really understand the concept of how tired I would be, how much this one little person would consume me both physically and emotionally. It was those first days of being in the hospital on my own, with husband having just flown out for our first offshore job that I knew I wouldn’t have that career for a very long time if at all. I cried more for that than the fact I was in a hospital recovery from a c section, with my husband out on his first offshore job, no family with me and those that were made it clear in no uncertain terms they weren’t there to help but I can only guess watch my fall and my baby about to have surgery. I cried for my loss it sounds selfish I know but that’s how it was. I loved my career that much.

I realised at that point I couldn’t do it all and do it well. I couldn’t do FIFO and mothering well. I cant see the point in not doing something properly. I couldn’t have that career, have a life of my own, have money of my own, or so I thought. I essentially at the time couldn’t because one I was now a FIFO mum on my own for goodness knows how long and two I didn’t have the family support to do so.  I would kill myself trying to do it all for the sake of doing it all, proving a point; as it was I almost killed myself just trying to be a FIFO mum let alone be a FIFO career mum. And I knew I wanted to be the best mum and wife possible but I didn’t look at it like it was a job or career. I looked at it like it was my end of the bargain. I had drawn the short straw.

I wanted to do my job as a mum well. That was and is important to me but I struggled with that loss for months and probably longer if Im truthful. I missed that career that feeling of self worth that it brought with it. Being able to dress up in heels and skirt and go to my other life. I was frustrated that my husband; despite his support of me, baby and his FIFO job meant I couldn’t have the career I wanted and had worked so hard for but I so badly wanted to raise my baby well. And I wanted him to do this offshore FIFO gig because it was an opportunity that couldn’t be missed and I wanted him to do this. I knew it would be good for us and it was massive to him. He had worked so hard to get this; so hard. But it felt and I know it wasn’t this way but at that time it felt like that I was always supporting him and what about me?

Then it happened one day whilst fishing with my parents up in Kakadu a place we, my mother father and I had spent every year for three months as a family, it dawned on me, I remember the exact moment right down to how the setting sun felt on my skin and how the air smelt. This was my family. This was my career for now. This was it. Strange I know that it took me so long to understand this was my family, my career and it was more important than any trip down the hill to another job. These two people. My handsome husband sitting beside me, his hand on my thigh and the baby playing between my feet on the floor of the boat. This was it. This wasn’t something that was stopping me from having the career I wanted this was my choice. This was my career choice. FIFO or not. I made the choice with my husband, my family to do this, from the moment I said okay lets have a baby. I had unexpectedly loved being a mother and I loved being a wife. My husband depended on me. My five month old son depended on me. My family depended on me for them. To make them happy. To feed them. Keep a roof over their head, food in their belly and keep them safe. Running my house, my marriage and my family was my ‘hotel’. I was officially in a career again even though I had never been without one.

Its sounds like a took a step back in time to the 50’s and yes I do wear an apron but I wanted to do this mothering and wife thing right and I couldn’t if I was struggling with ‘I should be doing something else’. This decision was right for me. Me I’m not talking about anyone else but me. So from that moment I realised this was more important than any other job in the world I was officially the CEO of the FIFO household and I have taken my job my career of raising good boys, having an amazing marriage and a semi profitable household seriously ever since. I cant do it all. I don’t have the resources too have a career outside the home and for those that can sometimes I’m jealous of you. Big time and I’m sorry for that. Please forgive me if I roll my eyes when you step out of your car in your newest pair of heels matching your newest Cue pencil skirt as you drop your kids off at school. Don’t take it personally take it as a compliment that you look rocking and I’m jealous you can do it all and I wish you so damn well but me I cant do it all well. I raise my hands to that and running my company in a pencil skirt and heels is just not practical so forgive me if I roll my eyes again but I’m happy with my career choice truly I am.

However that’s not to say I don’t struggle with it some days because I would be lying if I said otherwise but my husband my amazing husband in all his wisdom and all his support is the one who encourages me with my shop and my blog so I can have a little life of my own apart from this very important role and career of wife and mother. And I think that is the key having a little life of your own weather it be a craft; and more power to anyone who can handle a glue gun, going to the gym, drawing or some charity work you need something of your own. Something anything that doesn’t involve anyone else.

So now as we move into almost all my boys going into school hours I’m getting just a wee bit excited will I go back to my old career probably not its not what I want anymore but perhaps heels and pencil skirt wont be so impractical after all.

CEO Debbie of the FIFO household.