We are Luke and Kathryn, both aged 25. Live together on the coast in regional QLD just about to move into our new house! Currently madly planning for our November wedding in Tasmania. Luke works a 5 week on, 5 week off roster and we have been doing the whole FIFO lifestyle for as long as we’ve been together, four years.
- Was there a reason you started FIFO? i.e. Deposit for a house? Trip overseas? Or was he already working FIFO? How did you feel about that? Did it affect your decision about continuing the relationship? Why?
Not initially, Luke was already part way through his maritime studies when I met him and was working all sorts of different swings (3 months on, 1 month off etc). To be honest, his occupation was part of the appeal. It’s such a diverse industry with plenty of stories to tell, so I wasn’t bothered by this new mysterious fella, he was and is still quite a catch! I don’t think we faced any real issues until a couple of years into it.
2. Did you talk about it before starting? Was there a time limit? Has that happened?
We spoke about it, but when you’re in the honeymoon phase and you’re still getting to know each other everything is new and fresh and exciting so no time limits were placed. Since then the odd (make that numerous) conversations involving children have led us to contemplate the longevity of his career at sea, but we’ll just take it as it comes, I don’t see why we can’t be doing this for at least another 5 years.
3. What do you like best about FIFO?
Aside from the obvious financial reward, I think it’s really given us an abundance of choices and opportunities. We’ve moved A LOT over the last 3 years, figuring out where we actually wanted to be, close to family or not, by the coast, in the city etc. We wouldn’t have had the time or financial stability to do that without the FIFO lifestyle. But sitting here thinking about it, the thing I appreciate most about this situation is our time together when Luke’s home, the whole undisturbed 5 weeks. It’s like a little holiday begins the moment his plane lands.
4. What do you find so-so/tricky/hilariously bad about FIFO? What would change if you had a magic wand?
Are we any closer to human teleportation? The moments when you need them (or think you need them) right there and then for some important catastrophe..and they’re in a phone drop out zone. Those days can suck, i’ll be honest. Those are the ‘mum on speed dial’ days. Magic wand would have him standing in my living room, fixing this or that, or helping me with adult world decisions that have suddenly entered our life. But do I reallllly want that to change? My gut says it makes me a stronger more capable person so there’s always an up-side.
5. Does your partner have trouble with you still going out and about how do you handle moments of insecurity (if any)
Thinking back to the beginning, there was a little insecurity for the first few swings primarily due to workmates in his ear about girlfriends/wives cheating constantly while their partners were away making the money. Sad but true stories such as these are still commonplace on board but it didn’t take long for us to establish trust in the relationship. These days he avoids getting involved with any of the scare mongering and focuses the 30 year long FIFO relationships that are still going strong.
6. Do you get lonely? How do you handle that?
I think I’d be a liar if I said no. Sometimes when I stop to take a breather the reality kicks in that he’s not sharing this day with me, but the busier I am, the better the swing. I could say we talk a lot, but in all honesty I could go four days without hearing a peep and it doesn’t make me any lonelier than I am. I think it all comes down to the individual, if you have something to do and get involved in things that make you tick, then you are satisfied enough to let the weeks fly by.
7. Do you have trouble balancing his time with you and his mates? How do you manage it?
A lot of his friends are my friends and vice versa. Family plays a large role in both of our lives so the balance isn’t really between his mates and me, it’s between the family and friends. Family usually seems to have the upper hand! And we probably don’t manage it very well! Each swing produces its own balancing act.
8. Do you think you use the time he is away to better yourself? Do study or are you career orientated?
I wouldn’t say I dedicate the time he is away to improving myself, not consciously anyway. I think it happens naturally. Your role changes and all of a sudden one side of the emotional sphere is working harder than the other, if that makes sense? I am a stronger, more independent and informed individual when Luke is away, and a more social, irresponsible and carefree person when he’s home.
9. Do you know any other FIFO ladies your age? Do you think it would help knowing others?
Sad to say that I have known some, but every girlfriend we’ve been introduced to so far hasn’t lasted longer than a year. It’s a tough industry and considering the emotional maturity of most women my age, it doesn’t surprise me that they opt out. You know, I have to YES it would definitely help to know others in my situation..positive, strong and realistic FIFO women are good for each other.
10. What advice would you give to other women about FIFO life?
Stick to those who help rather than hinder, and use your support networks in family and friends when he’s home and away. Be honest with your partner and communicate your needs, but I would advise not to let arguments take hold mid swing. Biggest lesson was to focus on the other person’s day to day life, their situation and how they may or may not be feeling at on any certain day. It’s a tough one, and probably goes without saying but when you’re coming up to week 4 the perception of each other’s world starts to fray, so a bit of logic and consideration during this time can go a long way. But, I’m still learning month by month..and as a childless FIFO I know there’s another whole world i’m yet to step into, ask me again in 5 years time!
As told by Kathryn,
xx Deb
