Trudy studies full time also working here and there at the local cafe and if that’s not enough is a mum to two beautiful girls and one baby boy Ned. Trudy’s husband is four weeks on four weeks off in the offshore industry. This is her story.
What’s your work schedule? Do you work outside the home?
Right now I’m studying full time to get into uni which I plan to start part time then move to full time as the baby gets older. I occasionally do a days work here and there at the cafe I worked at before I had the baby.
How do you handle childcare? If you need it. Do you use childcare or family? Do you have support?
I don’t have any family in the same town. 2 hours away is the closest. I have some friends and great neighbours that I can call on if I’m desperate. But I try not to ask for help unless I’m really stuck. I decided to put Ned in day care 2 days a week to allow me to get some study done. He attends family day care which has always been my first choice of care.
Was there a reason you started FIFO? I.e. deposit for a house, lifestyle. Did you talk about it before starting? Was there a time limit? Has that happened?
My husband is 5th generation seafarer. He was a chef first but had always expressed a desire to go to sea. I didn’t want to hold him back, I was willing to give it a go and we agreed that if I couldn’t handle it, he would come home. Being a head chef is bloody stressful and he hardly saw us so I knew he would benefit. First he cooked at sea but now he is an IR. Obviously the money was a big draw card, we were living week to week.
The first year we moved in with my parents so I could have support because I worked. The next year we moved out here to regional NSW and within 10 months we had bought a house. That was not even in the realm of possibility before FIFO. Im happy so he can stay at sea for as long as he likes.
What do you like best about FIFO?
Well I have to say the money! To be totally honest. So many good things can happen because of it. Like me not working if I don’t want to, buying a house, holidays, a decent car and a sense of security. I also love who I have become because of our lifestyle. I’ve always been able to hold my own, I was raised by my Dad. But now I am a strong independent woman! I can do just about anything and handle all situations. And I think that would be the thing my husband likes about me most. And I am doing an awesome job of raising our kids. I really feel like I can say that. Also, Luke loves his job, so I’m really happy for him.
What do you find so-so/tricky/hilariously bad about FIFO? What would change if you had a magic wand?
Obviously things go wrong only when Luke’s away. That’s the way it goes! So I could leave that behind. I wish we lived closer to the airport. Missing the important things can be hard. Like our first cruise and proper holiday, he got offered his first job at sea!. Couldn’t say no, so Mum came along and we had a great holiday. Then we booked a house on an island for Christmas. Got called away! Lucky some lovely friends visited. But actually it shows you what you are capable of so that’s a positive I think. Missing birthdays etc, you get around all that as you know.
How do you and your husband fit marriage into the balance? Do you have any time for yourself?
Luke and I have a great marriage. We don’t have to do much to make it work. We’re just meant for each other. We make time for each other. There’s just no problems there!
Do you get lonely? How do you handle it?
Maybe got a little lonely in the early years but definitely not now. I like my alone time.
Do the kid’s miss dad? How do you handle it?
Early on the kids did have some issues with it. It’s all second nature now. I think they realise now that they get lots of time with him when he’s home. Ned has been born into the lifestyle so I guess he will be used to by the time he knows what’s going on.
Do you ever wonder how other women manage the juggle? Have you talked to other women about it?
I don’t personally know any FIFO wives. So I don’t really talk about it. All my friends know our situation and respect it. I handle it really well, so I suppose I didn’t think about how people manage. Although when I was pregnant I worried how would handle it with a newborn. But I got him into a routine and he’s been the easiest child yet! My personal view is if you don’t like it or resent your husband for it, stop right now! It will probably never work! But that’s just me.
What advice would you give to other mums about how to balance FIFO life?
I would say, give it a go. Just don’t have any expectations of how things will turn out. If you aren’t the independent type it probably isn’t for you.
As told by Trudy.
Thanks lovely xx Deb
