This post this post is a whinge post I warn you now. If you want something happy and chirpy head on over to etymologie for a little ray of sunshine for sunshine it is not here today.
I have had a horrible horrible night sleep. I know it was horrible because I actually got up and moved beds. When I move beds its because I have had a crap night sleepand I dont want to wake anyone else. Im considerate like that. I woke at 1232am to take B3 to the toilet because he was doing the rouge grasshopper in bed next to me and that was it. My brain went into overdrive. So my night was crap because well I’m worried I have stuffed up. Worried that something I did will be incorrectly published and that I will look terrible. It would be okay if it was confined to my local yo cal but its not its national. Nation wide. Yet its out of my hands so I will just have to ride it and allow it to be. Crap. I hate being out of control and in someone else. Argh.
So with husband knowing I have had a crap night sleep, you would think that he would creep out into the kitchen with the boys feed them place them in front of the TV until the bear had woken from her slumber. NO. No he did not. Instead he proceeded to play tickles with B2 and B3 with them shrieking with laughter at 630am. This would normally fill my heart with joy…if I had had a good night sleep. If I had not wrestlessed with worries all night, thinking, thinking and crap thinking all the more. I slam the door to the spare room. Nothing. The shrieking continues. FIFO husband I yell. Nothing the shrieking gets louder with muffled laughter from my ever so considerate husband and then the elephants start running down the hall and I know that I have lost the battle.
Its funny though (but Im not laughing) because I would do it for him. I would take the kids out ear shot. Appease them any way I could just so he could have a few extra minutes or hours what ever he needed. I would draw the curtains of the room and make sure it was the right tempeture. I would sneak. I would be quite. I would. I know I would. Yet thats me and I guess that’s well him? Can I say that its because he is a man? Because usually he is that thoughtful man. Usually. Today he is not today he is that man.
So I shuffle down the hall. B3 saying sorry continuously in his sweet three year old tone but I will not be broken from my crankiness with his innocent sweetness.
I plonk in front of the Tv with my coffee and well here we are. Its 824am I’m still in my pink poodle pyjamas savouring every cranky moment.
Have a fantastic Friday my lovelies,
xxDeb
Hey Lauren,
I have shot you an email also but it was such a great comment here is a answer to some of what I wanted to write. Firstly four and one is a tough roster. Really tough. To be honest Im not sure why they have such rosters still in place. We did it for a year before getting a better ones 14/1 then 4/4 which works perfect for us. Knowing that roster is still in place kind of makes my blood boil. So if you are having a tough time that’s certainly understandable. Four and one is tough. Even tougher with kids.
To be honest I cant say weather its personality or not. Before I started living this lifestyle I wasn’t the same as I am now before this I was so shy it was almost crippling however having said that I was independent (im a only child or working parents) so perhaps the character foundation was there? I did find though through sheer necessity I have learnt and changed. Now I’m proudly independent and and yes I would say extremely strong. I want to be that way for my boys, my husband and myself. I would much rather be who I am now than I was. It hasnt been easy though..but I wouldnt change a thing and Im gald of everything that has happened.
Sometimes I do wonder though what the point is though I think we all do but then my husband comes home and attends the boys swimming, takes them fishing, goes does class reading and its amazing. Yet we have a plan and I believe that its all worth it in the end.For us its not about the material things we dont lead an extragavant lifetsyle our life and home is a very simple one. This job is setting things in place for later in the mean time I believe that the quality time makes up for it. We make sure that the month off is family time and that’s that. If husband becomes to self absorbed in something (which is only fair and natural) I just pull him aside and he is like check and we are back on track. As we speak husband is doing homework with my B1 after having played with B2 and B3 all day. Without this job I could never have been a stay at home mum and I value that gift.
xx Deb
Hi Deb,
Been following u for about a week. Do u think it takes a certain personality to cope with fifo? R u a strong woman anyway? Before u started living this lifestyle?
My partner does 4:1 soon to go down to 2:1, i have put in place all possible coping mechanisms, yet i feel like its not worth the money. Kids grow up too fast, and whats the point of material things when u cant enjoy them with ur other half.
Just wanted to hear ur thoughts, thanks
Hey kristene it did get better and I was left in all my grumpiness and it was good!! Xxx Deb
You are not unique!! I am sure we have ‘that’ husband come and visit sometimes. Yes it’s all cute that they are bonding with Dad but bonding with the quite pillow and sleep in make for a much happier mummy!! Girls just naturally have consideration I think. Guys swithch off to that sort of stuff. Hope your day got better. Kirstene xx