This morning I had a lovely lady email me with the following question…when dad comes home he expects to be head of the household and main discipliner the kids naturally get confused what to do?
It would be interesting to read your thoughts my lovelies but this is what I think on the ideas of who is responsible for the whole discipline thing.
Discipline, morals, ethics, and all things associated with wrangling kids FIFO husband and I are on the same page. Word for word. That first of all is essential. If you’re not it kind of makes bringing up kids a nightmare I think. So when FIFO husband comes home from a swing from work there is no ‘top dog, head of the household or main discipliner’. We are equal.
Perhaps I’m fortunate that FIFO husband has never ever come back from work and tried to be top dog or head of the household. He never tries to be the main discipliner. He as I have always held the view that we both are responsible for parenting. This is OUR house and our rules. Raising the kids is like most things a constant discussion. Being one sided having one parent’s authority hold more weight than the other I don’t think works. It would confuse the kids no end or work to their advantage and then ultimately it affects the parent’s relationship. This again all goes back to our belief that our marriage is a partnership.
Should FIFO husband encounters a situation that requires discipline he handles it. If I encounter one I handle it. There is no let’s tell dad and let him deal with it. If its massive problem it’s dealt with both of us together. We have only had to tell our eldest boy B1 once to go away and await his punishment while FIFO husband and I discussed it. That was most likely the most nerve racking twenty minutes that boy will ever live.
If I think FIFO husband is handling it wrong I don’t step in and try to take over I think that’s wrong. It shows a divide between us and again if the kids are clever they will grasp on to it, use it to their advantage and all hell will break loose at some point. So instead of defacing his opinion I’m supportive of him and his decisions. We bring a united front to the situation. Whilst not always agreeing with the outcome (sometimes even the parents are tired and irritable and not in the best mood to deal with things appropriately at the time) I wait until thing have cooled down and then express my concern of the way he had handle it and why. This of course all out of ear shot of the kids. If you aren’t on the same page in terms of discipline perhaps a list of rules and options could be created so at least it’s agreed on that some actions require consequences.
So my lovelies what do you think? Would love to hear..
Have a lovely Saturday,
xXDeb
