a fifo wife {me: boasting about my B1}

So I was still in a down right mood yesterday morning. Slamming doors, yelling at th kids, kicking the dog (not literally) and cursing every step of the way as you do when your as frustrated as hell that you are doing this all alone again. Poor me was my mentality. I was on fire in terms of my mood and well aware I was making the kids dodge and weave as they got ready for school. Almost feeding from their frenzy to get out of my way. So adult like. So bully like but I felt so in control of that I had now control of anything else.

I raced into town to drop off B2 and B3 at kindy and daycare. NO time to see your stuff today kids I have important business like feeling sorry for myself and being an absolut bitch.I got home only to see that B1 had forgotten his reader. Bloody hell I yelled as I snatched it from the table and strode across to the school. I stopped at the school gate took a breath and put on my I’m as happy as crazy women face and wander into the school like I was perfectly in control.

I walked into the classroom. He was alone again, sitting at his desk drawing. Damn it I said to myself. I dropped his reader into a basket not taking note of which one and I walked up to his desk. He has moved up to year one this year and I was sure that this would be his year to shine and mingle. He jumped up when he saw me and gave me the biggest hug. He hadn’t expected to see me but he was glad that I was there. All that feeling of frustration and self pity was replaced with damn it I did it again and you better get your crap together women. Hey bub I said as I sat down to look at his stuff.

B1 called his teacher is this your reader? Asked his teacher. You put it in the wrong basket. Oh that was me I said. Oh well B1 is this one she said with out a big deal but with a hugh smile. She had been his prep teacher and moved up with him. I looked at the basket. Looked at her then at the education poster on the wall behind her. It was depicting reading levels and corresponding colours. I’m not going to say where he is but put it this way he is at the top. TOP LEVEL OF YEAR ONE for reading. Not a big deal but a big freaking deal for us. I’m so proud so of him you cant imagine how so.

You see my B1’s story goes like this. Since he was six weeks old I have been seeing doctors trying to understand why he wasn’t so responsive. Some days he would hear me and respond and other days he was ‘ignorant’.  It was frustrating. I was sure it was his hearing. Oh he is fine the doctors would say. I knew that there was something wrong but we went for hearing test after hearing test. He has a cold they would say, the test is inconclusive. Yes I know I said but he always has that horrible green runny nose I cant seem to get rid of I would say. Bring him back in three months, six months. His milestones where all on track, he started riding a three wheeler motorbike at 9 months but his speech was delayed and when he did speak it was a mess you couldn’t understand him.

I started seeing a speech therapist. I think he needs a occupational therapist instead she said. At three years old we went to see them on her recommendation they assessed him asked him questions and a series of physical commands. He did the best he could but they graded him as he was in need of further testing. I wasn’t happy with any of it and for a period of time I dropped it and just carried on doing the best we could. It seemed like a revolving doors of doctors with no answers except to say he was a little slow to develop.

In this time he became shy and introverted. He would get picked on at play group and daycare because no one could understand him. He couldn’t understand them. I was so worried for him. He seemed slow to learn and pick up things. Yet so clever at the same time. I mean how many kids ride a motor bike at nine months? School was approaching fast. I tried one last hearing test. Our sixth test since he was six weeks old he was four and a half.

We did everything as normal but we had a different girl who actually went through his past records. He has a cold she said. No he doesn’t I said. They always say that I say but he doesn’t. He cant hear out of his left ear and his right is severely reduced. WHAT I screamed. Just put him at the front of the class until he grows out of it. What do you mean I asked.. is he deaf.. I was somewhat near hysterics after four years of trying to get someone to tell me something, anything. No he has eustachian tube dysfunction. His ears aren’t draining the fluid out of his ears he should grow out of it but essentially he hears like your talking under water to him.

I cried all the way home. Devastated. I had let my baby down. Long story short we saw a specialist and within two weeks we had grommets in. We walked out of the hospital and the first words out of his mouth….’its so noisy here hey mum’ I cried.

So it been a long road this last year and a half. Hard work for him and lots of guilt  and screaming from me. Fortnightly speech therapy lessons. His brain had to learn how to listen and understand commands, his fine motor skills had to develop. We did homework in the morning and in the afternoon. I have been terrified. EVERY thing was has been behind. He was essential starting from scratch at four.

Yet hear he is TOP of the class for reading. Well done my baby you make me so proud.

xx Deb