I was telling my husband the other night as I got dressed about the first time I admitted to having a made a mistake. We were talking about our middle boy at the time who is currently covering up his mistakes and lying about them, and a concerning pattern is forming. I felt I made a lot of mistakes as a ‘younger person’ however I’m sure I made no more than others. The f*ck up I made this day was not overly huge, and in fact, I can’t remember what it was, but I was a hotel reservations manager and my front office manager was going off about the mistake I had made.
Ordinarily I would have stayed silent and hoped it would have blown over not wanting to embarrass myself that I had done something wrong. I would have stayed silent so not to bring attention to myself, and ultimately I was a coward. However this particular morning for whatever reason I stood from my desk and went over and said to her Ms. V “that was my fault, that was my error.” I recall her turning in her chair straightening her white jacket looking at me and saying “wow Deb that’s brave admitting that. I have never met anyone who has owned up to a mistake before.”
I waited for the embarrassment and the shame of my “mistake” because isn’t that what mistakes are about? And perhaps it’s because of the way she handled it because none of those feelings came.
Instead, I felt proud and grown up almost of myself for admitting my error and slowly {because I am not the quickest of learners} I came to learn and understand making mistakes both big and small was nothing to be ashamed of at all.
Mistakes unless excruciatingly serious {commen sense will tell you the difference} should be welcomed, seen as a good thing.
Now you will find me front, and center was admitting a f*ck up with more enthusiasm than is probably required.
So since then I have come to make some major f*ck ups in every single aspect of my life, but there are few things I have learned about them.
- F*ck ups big and small lead to ‘personal growth’. I hate that word growth as much as the word journey. However, it is true. My mistakes, bad choices and lousy reactions have made me who I am and despite the number of them, I like who I am. They are part of my story and my mistakes have made me less judgy because the reality is I have done worse on a better day.
- F*ck ups big and small have forced me to understand there is more than one way to do things, and it’s not always my way or my thought process. I also believe mistakes is the universe way of telling you that. They are there to guide you.
- They are vital in becoming successful in anything. A baby doesn’t just start walking, and no one expects it to. It doesn’t fall over a hundred times and ‘say oh well let’s forget about that’. My version of success these days is getting through a parenting day without everyone in tears some days it takes the tears of the day before to get through the day after.
Making mistakes shouldn’t be something people look down upon in fact people like that should be avoided personally I like someone who has the wiseness of a few mistakes under their belt. I like someone who is willing to admit their error’s and show me their ‘flaws’; they are people I can relate to and want to be friends with.
To make a mistake, a royal f*ck up and to ultimately fail at something is a good thing and while it’s usually in hindsight; with every mistake come’s a new lesson to be learned and with every lesson comes knowledge.
And we all know knowledge is power.
And if you are anything like me don’t feel bad about making the wrong decision, don’t dwell on it, you have made that choice for a reason and never let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s your life and f*ck ups make great stories.
Yet keep in mind: Make as many mistakes as you want, just not the same ones over and over again because made more than once its a decision.
xx Deb
