In following with the happy marriage/relationship tips I’m giving (because I’m so good at it and yes that’s dripping with sarcasm; no not really but I read lots put what I like into practise and Bobs your uncle or may be your aunt you can never be to sure these days) and given the happy (ie no complaint’s were made and no legal action was taken) response to tip number one here is tip number two:
2. Go to bed angry. After an arguement that is. If you are angry all the time then you could perhaps be in the wrong spot.
I use to use to think the opposite but over the last thirteen years I have learnt a few things about my relationship, my husband and myself. I use to try and solve the problem. It would go on for hours into the wee morning. For I am a seeker and well I thought that you should never go to bed angry….its a rule in the bible….”Let not the sun go down upon your wrath” and a rule in a book that is over thousands of years old well that cant be wrong but that’s crazy because I’m not religious by any means spiritual but not religious. Yet truth is I don’t like to leave an issue unresolved at all its like leaving the house and the last words you say are ‘You have bug eyes’ to your loved one only to be hit by a bus. So now whilst I don’t speak that way and I never let the last thing I say to someone be hurtful, mean or uncalled for I do go to bed angry now. I should mention its always a crap night sleep you cant expect sleeping beauty after an argument with your loved one.
You see I’m a seeker. I have said that before. I don’t like confrontation and sometimes I back down when I shouldn’t have to and in the light of day I don’t like that. I like to fix all the worlds problems and I’m also a runner. My husband he is the complete opposite he is a sulker, a reaper and a venomspitter. I think its something he learnt from his childhood it doesnt make him a bad person just a unfair fighter when it happens. Ordinarily he is patient kind and caring and It takes him awhile to get to that point but when he does he will either sulk and I will going in seeking trying to fix it. Or he is a reaper and brings up the past to which I hate because well the past is the past or he is a spitter; anger gets the better of him and he says what ever venom spits out his mouth at the time. So going to bed and just taking time out of the argument is the best thing we can do. However having said that we have only been in that place a handful of times infact I can count them four becasue in the mean time we do that whole communication thing. We talk about everything before it becomes a problem.
So now knowing that my marriage is safe despite (because it usually is) the war zone going on at that moment I will go to bed angry. I will also say I love you..just to be sure you know…you never know what dangers lurk in your bed. Nine times out of ten we wake up happy chappys. Happy to laugh at the previous days troubles or have a quick round up of a soloution what ever the case. Its usually is the case that you may go to bed angry but wake up and think what the hell was that about and see the situation for what it is or you may find the answer to the situation the next day after a sleep maybe not a good night sleep but a sleep. But at least your argument wasnt resolved on tiredness and emotion. It was founded and ended from a clear head and a steady heart.
Try it..whats the bet you will end up making waffles,
have a great Friday,
xx Deb
PS..Just to reinforce this is just my opions ideas and views. I don’t claim to be a councillor, psychologist or social worker. I am just a mum, wife, secretary, small business owner, carer, chicken feeder, dog walker, child mediator, landscaper, cook and cleaner usually all at the same time. Im just sharing the love that’s all.
